I am so tired of the stigma I carry like a piece of limestone on my shoulders weighing me down. I'm tired of everyone always looking to me for the "gay" answers or always trying to place me in the so called stereotypes just because of something I like. "Oh gay guys are so creative."
Well then I guess DaVinci and Beethoven were queer bent bastards because they created masterpieces that are still revered today as genius artistic masters. My god there must be over a thousand creative artists throughout history that have been recorded and they were probably NOT gay. There is a lot of prejudice and discrimination that we have to put up with in these times of diversity still. It's ridiculous that we are labeled and that we are persecuted by "straight" people everyday that want to judge us as promiscuous and drug users and "oh well you know he's gay." I'm so sick and tired of all this prejudgement. I mean seriously take the time to actually get to know me or someone else who you know that is gay before you judge them. I am a person too. I never once tried to say I was anything like you because I'm not. No one is. I mean isn't that what this country stands for is the diversity and how we can come together. The land of the free used to symbolize to many in the form of "Family." And now to myself and several others like myself it simply reminds us of the fear. The fear that we feel when we go out into public. The fear we feel when we now people don't like us or better, understand us. The fear that we feel when we see the acts of ignorant people publicized in the media in the form of hate crimes. The fear of simply knowing that there is no protection for us. Protection implies rights for which we have few as homosexuals. I was a victim of a hate crime several years ago, and to tell you that I survived without any side effects is a lie. Because of the incidents with some misguided and poorly educated individuals, I am now afraid of certain interactions. I flinch if a mob is aroused. I'm petrified of a bar fight. At home when i cook or prepare meals for myself or others, just the handling of a blade makes me quiver as I remember the burning of cold steel into my upper lip. The land of the free. No. The land of the ignorant and the land of the fearful.
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1 comment:
This entry is VERY powerful and probably my favorite of the whole bunch. The fiery language that often dominates your style is especially effective here and well-suited to a disturbing subject. I'm infuriated by the treatment you've received and also feel confident that you will prove those bastards idiots. An interesting side note is that a fad of sorts has arisen of digging up "proof" that many artists, philosophers, etc. were gay. It comes from the impulse to accept homosexuality, and I'm sure in many cases it's true, but the determination behind it seems to mask a need to "explain" a creative tension with a sexual one. Again, I'm very sorry to hear about your struggle.
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