School or Money?

You know, the whole point of going back to school and attending college is to obtain a degree to land the desired occupation that will satisfy whatever need we have and also offer opportunities to make more income to support unnecessary commodities and privileges. This whole semester I have been kicking my ass and making damned good grades only to find out that none of that means anything because it's all about the government and its rules when it applies to helping students acquire loans for their college tuition. To tell me that I took out loans earlier this year to pay for college and books and that it is still not enough to cover next semesters tuition is preposterous. Yes, let's give money to the poor people in the hood who are on fixed income housing and abuse drugs on a regular if not daily basis. Let's give them money for food and shelter because they were exposed to a predisposition and it is not in their destiny whether they can choose to or not spend their money on some rock to feed their habits. Let's give them money, an ample amount at that, to support them and help them go back to college so that they can afford to go to school while caring after poor neglected children. Let's offer them the chance to turn things around so they will not be quite the crutch on the government. And let's give them the benefit of the doubt as well that they are not abusing these systems of welfare and charity for which they are so privileged to. And how dare we accuse them of trying to be anything less than they can be as well as crooks, or thieves of the common.


I am sick of hearing all this bullshit yet no one does anything about it. There are serious flaws when one's government wants to give funding for school to people who will not make a proper use of it when one's government could be giving people of all the equal opportunity.


I have no idea how I’m about to go on next semester and pay for all of the expenditures. Quite frankly I can see why so many of the citizens often take the easy way out instead of the honesty through. How can there be honesty with misrepresentations. And misrepresentations might as well be lies since they are far from the truth.


Well my friends, I know that I have the inner strength to find a way to make it through next semester and come up with the money for tuition. As well it might just kill me, I am determined to find a way for one day I shall overcome the impoverish ideas and shine with the light of greatness.


I will be strong.


I will see myself through.

Here and QUEER....So QUIT labeling me.

I am so tired of the stigma I carry like a piece of limestone on my shoulders weighing me down. I'm tired of everyone always looking to me for the "gay" answers or always trying to place me in the so called stereotypes just because of something I like. "Oh gay guys are so creative."
Well then I guess DaVinci and Beethoven were queer bent bastards because they created masterpieces that are still revered today as genius artistic masters. My god there must be over a thousand creative artists throughout history that have been recorded and they were probably NOT gay. There is a lot of prejudice and discrimination that we have to put up with in these times of diversity still. It's ridiculous that we are labeled and that we are persecuted by "straight" people everyday that want to judge us as promiscuous and drug users and "oh well you know he's gay." I'm so sick and tired of all this prejudgement. I mean seriously take the time to actually get to know me or someone else who you know that is gay before you judge them. I am a person too. I never once tried to say I was anything like you because I'm not. No one is. I mean isn't that what this country stands for is the diversity and how we can come together. The land of the free used to symbolize to many in the form of "Family." And now to myself and several others like myself it simply reminds us of the fear. The fear that we feel when we go out into public. The fear we feel when we now people don't like us or better, understand us. The fear that we feel when we see the acts of ignorant people publicized in the media in the form of hate crimes. The fear of simply knowing that there is no protection for us. Protection implies rights for which we have few as homosexuals. I was a victim of a hate crime several years ago, and to tell you that I survived without any side effects is a lie. Because of the incidents with some misguided and poorly educated individuals, I am now afraid of certain interactions. I flinch if a mob is aroused. I'm petrified of a bar fight. At home when i cook or prepare meals for myself or others, just the handling of a blade makes me quiver as I remember the burning of cold steel into my upper lip. The land of the free. No. The land of the ignorant and the land of the fearful.

Unanswered Prayers

So some of you may now that country song sung by Garth Brooks.... "sometimes I thank god, for unanswered prayers...."-Well, thats how Im looking at the events in my life.If I had gotten the things in life differently and the way that I want them then i wouldnt have had the chance of meeting that special someone.
He's brave and he's smart. He's strong and can admit when he's weak.He's a good friend to have around and he's someone Ive enjoyed gettin to know again. He's someone that makes me proud everyday that i can look up to his examples.He helps me stay off drugs because his accomplishments are my drugs.He keeps me in school.He HAS helped me to let go of grudges and forgive.He HAS helped me to reunite friendships and have a genuine love for everybody as equals.Although I am biased when it comes to certain matters such as politics....He HAS helped me to be more open.When I need that extra pat on the shoulder to keep my spirits up...he is there.
It has been a long time since Ive truly felt happy in life and Im glad to feel it again.Happiness is something I wasnt sure if I would experiance again.Ever since I lost Cameron I feel like Ive been Lost in life.....Like a chili thats bland and has no spice (spirit or life) and no meat or noodles.....Its just a soup without character.And now I feel like there is more out there to life(wasnt an intentional reference to Reba McEntire's "Is There Life Out There.")
Recently I have been ultra busy major with work and school that it has been very difficult to keep in touch with friends and my social life.So Ive been making it a habit of trying to talk to a different friend each day by text messaging and emails.
If youre one of my friends and you happen to check up on my blogs from time to time please feel free to message me or ask for my number....
I have a lot to thank God for and I am truly happy for once without waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Ive always been a decent person...but from here on out I think Ill be GREAT......like Toni The Tiger.....
To all the people I love heres a Happy Warm Hug and Kiss up on the cheek for you....
And to all the HATERZ out there that have made my life unpleasant in the past..... i hope you grow up, move on, and forget about that petty shit because the only ones that you are hurting are yourselves.
Spread Love, Make Peace, Find Happiness, Be Safe......
Until next time......

Poets are Hippies

Poets are Hippies

Well, I believe that this stereotype comes from the late sixties and early seventies. This was the time when people were protesting the wars and the unjustice due to the inequality of rights. Many people were inspired by John Lennon’s form of protest which was through music and art. During this period people escaped from their reality by exploring their artistic sides. A lot of people wrote poetry and became really popular. Thus the stereotypical image of a long haired flower child rambling about nature.

Writing in lyrics was a form of venting and expressing the individual views of other different other people during a period of anti- war activism. Clearly it is illogical to stereotype an entire time period where people expressed their views on life. Stereotyping poets as hippies is also not very factual since there have been dozens of credited poets throughout history.

By stereotyping poets you are criticizing their ability to write. Not everyone fits into a stereotype and even though it can apply to certain people it may not pertain to others. Stereotyping occurs often in writing throughout history. As a writer, one needs to avoid stereotypical claims and stay away from subject where you be biased. However, it is always good to recognize where stereotypes play an important role in perfecting their writing skill.

Out of Power and Out of Time

So many of you may have experianced Stormageadon this weekend... Well... I would just like to say how out raged Iam that we all had class on Monday when EVERYONE ELSE in the free world was out due to power outages and fallen down trees AT THEIR HOUSE.... I DO NOT UNDERSTAND... So many people ...like me... had an exam on Monday.... How were we suppossed to study with no electricity....like duh

Working til death....

So I'm pulling extra shifts to try and save up to buy a new car but recently I have failed to realize that I am in school full time as well as in class full time. So to say the least I'm stretching myself very thin and I am taking an exhausting toll on my body. But hey it beats walking. I need to take a moment to meditate on this and find time throughout the week were i can reflect and relax. Oh Snap... did I just give my self some good advice. I really should listen to myself more often.

Wow....

Okay, so belive it or not, this has been a very stressful weekend for me. After class on Wednesday, I worked all weekend pulling double shifts and then to my dismay, was informed that while my car was in the shop they also found new problems with it. So my car is busted and I am having to rely on my grandma for a replacement vehicle until mine is either repaired or replaced. Top of that lies the condiments; the internet service at my parents house has been down all week and i could not get any of my assignments done til today. Today is wednesday so after today's classes I will be headed back to work tomorrow again. So much for a "holiday weekend".....